jowisu

These tips of the trade are based on real life events. Learn from their wisdom.

WARNING: These jokes are only for BF2 players, if you don't play the game, there is a huge chance that you would not understand the punchlines.

-Use your headset to practice for American Idol.
-Apply for mutiny every 30 seconds.
-Cyber with your team mates, pretending to be a girl and using your high pitched voice.
-Make donuts using a desert buggy, then switch to passenger side and shoot at the sky.
-Plant C4's on your Radars, Tanks, planes, and artilary. After your team mates use them shout "happy new year" and press the button.
-Ride a boat and ask all your friends to tag along, go to the middle of the lake, then shout "Evacuate! Missile!" After your friends leap off, leave them and go back to shore.
-Ask for artillary support in the middle of nowhere.
-Throw flash bangs AFTER your team charges.
-When an enemy tank appears signal "heavy armour spotted" in the opposite direction.
-Ride a helicopter with your friends and pilot it. Spin out of control then jump off and use your parachute. After the copter crashes, ask if they are ok.
-Preach Christianity to all your team mates when you are playing as a terrorist.
-Everytime your team loses a stategic area, switch to the other side.
-Respawn as a medic and try to revive enemy soldiers.
-If you are playing in the terrorist fraction, yell "Death to America!" everytime you kill, and "We are here to fight in the war against terror!" if you are US. And if you are playing as China say "It is all beautiful" when you die, use your Ken Watanabe accent.
-When playing as a Medic, kill your team mates then revive them. Repeat.
-When playing as sniper plant mines near supply drops.

__________________


Gypsy Rocks My World. Tay(m)eD is my Lover. I let Vinny out of his cage! I am Duraza's father! I ate Argetlams dog... Your dog is next.

Kreator

Dromar

You know this can happen if the server changes your team and you haven't realised. It's not as if you're stupid or something when you do it. The fricking text telling you is tiny! I was also eating some cheese and crackers as a snack at the time, these sort of things have to taken into consideration. That squad member shooting me because I tried to revive the enemy instead of a team mate was just uncalled for.

Anyway, very funny and true with the singing people. I hate them.

__________________

Red Squirrel Power! (RSP!)

jowisu

Actually I made them up, or witnessed them... There are alot of weirdos in BF2.


Lol yeah I see those noobs alot of time, they keep on using the shock pads over and over again, then they realize that its the enemy's corpse.


Here let me add more:

-If you are facing someone who is too skilled for you to kill, switch teams, kill him, then return. It is also more fun if you yell "I am a spy!" (Works only if friendly fire is on)

-When on a vehicle Ram on your team mates. Yell "Roadkill!!". Best done with an F15 jet.

-When you are commander send a supple drop, and a vehicle drop to your opponents camp.

-Apply for a troop leader. Send all your snipers in the middle of the battlefield, and get mad if they get killed. Don't forget to yell "You are the WORST squad I have ever the misfortune to meet!"

-Say you are a Psycic, kill the Commander then say "He was a traitor to his county." Apply for commander.

-Go on a stealth mission, steal your opponents aircraft, fly and ram it at the highest building available on the enemy camp using afterburners. Then say "Eye for an eye noobs."

-Join a server with a higher ping level then your connection. When in the game say "Stupid Laggers... QUIT!"

-Join recruiting games, join the testers team, and pretend to be the leader.

-When surrounded by enemy forces yell "I surrender!" Then aim your crosshair to the heavens, and wait for mercy.

-Always drive through the ramps when you drive. ALWAYS. Also try doing tricks.

-Pull over your team mates vehicles and ask for a license. When asked why reply "You were going over the speed limit." Note: Prepare to be run over. Then kicked.

-In the middle of a game say "This account for trade! Willing to trade for Runescape, or Neopets!"

-Headshot your team mates when they are about to capture the flag. Say "My bad!" Capture the flag then get the points he was suppose to recieve. Repeat if the situation presents itself.

-When given an order by your superior officer, always debate a "Better course of action." If the situation heats up, simply change the subject to religous debate.

-Ask A/S/L whenever your friend is in the heat of battle. Pretend to be intrested in all he says, and always carry the conversation. Stop when the battle is finished.

__________________


Gypsy Rocks My World. Tay(m)eD is my Lover. I let Vinny out of his cage! I am Duraza's father! I ate Argetlams dog... Your dog is next.

IROK

LMFAO jowi!!!

You make me want to play BF2 again

jowisu

Battlefield is a cool game...

What was your account and rank IROK?

__________________


Gypsy Rocks My World. Tay(m)eD is my Lover. I let Vinny out of his cage! I am Duraza's father! I ate Argetlams dog... Your dog is next.

Dromar

I havn't played BF2 since BF2142 came out. My BF2 account is PrivateDecoy. All I know is that it is a really low rank, and I sucked at every thing. I did live up to my name though I always went first and got killed first in my squad.

In BF2142 I seem to be alot better. My rank is still not that great but that is mainly due to inactivity, rather than sucking at it. Best thing in BF2142 the Engineer/Anti-Vehical kit is better at killing tanks than the remote-charges/C4 users in, unlike BF2.

__________________

Red Squirrel Power! (RSP!)

IROK

I never got my own online account. I usually used my friend's. I'll make one just for you though Jowi

Phoenix

__________________

Omegus

I'm an admin on a server...so I never get kicked. :P

__________________



"I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast, but I like hot butter on my breakfast toast."